Dressing for the Sexes: Do You Dress for Him or Her?

When you wake up—who do you dress for? Your boss? Your friend who you’re doing lunch with? Your husband? The ladies in the meeting you have for the charity coming up? Earlier this week I was able to reconnect with an old friend—an esteemed fashion photographer whose taste I have always trusted (for obvious reasons—check out his website www.fashionwirepress.com). He made a point that completely threw me. He said that the reason why European women are thought of as much better dressers than Americans is because of who they dress for. American women dress for other women. Parisians dress for other men. Hmm. Is this true? When you wake up in the morning do you consciously put together an outfit that would grab attention from your friend, or an outfit that would grab attention from your significant other?

Right now I’m sitting at a Panera. There is a crowd of four women having lunch. Two have Burberry check totes, one has a quilted Kate Spade, and one has a Prada hobo. All have variations of cardigans, button-downs, and straight leg khakis. Two are wearing low heels, two are wearing flats. Jewelry is pretty minimal: diamond studs and wedding rings. I would say all take care of themselves, are “well dressed,” and seem to have some sort of handle on fashion. Next to me there is a blond girl, 20-something and I would venture a guess to say that she might work in the mall...perhaps at Bebe. She has on destroyed (and I mean completely shredded) skinny jeans, very high heels, and a black leather jacket with studs at the sleeves and around the collar that seem to accentuate her (artificial?) bustline. Her hair is down in a blond hot-mess and her black eyeliner is reminiscent of mine…on Halloween. Now, most people would say that it is clear that the women who are most obviously lunching (please excuse my stereotyping) dress for eachother. They most certainly didn’t wake up and think that a button-down and cardigan would make their husband late for work…again (or at least I hope not). I would also venture to guess that the girl next to me might have woken up today and thought that she was going to dress for a man. Tight jeans. Super high heels. Blond hair. Lots of eyeliner. Yet I’m looking around at all the men here and none of them have actually looked her way. Some might have glanced and thought the shredded jeans looked a little ridiculous (as did I), but other than that, nothing. So where are they looking? If the men aren’t checking out the women who obviously didn’t dress for them (the lunching ladies), and aren’t even checking out the one who is stereotypically oozing sex (the Bebe girl)—where are they looking?

Then I see her. Red wavy hair that is loosely pulled back in a low pony-tail, simple green top tucked into a full printed skirt, brown heels, and a great brown bag. I can’t name any of the brands she’s wearing (skirt maybe Ann Taylor 2 years ago…but not sure). She isn’t stick thin, probably an 8 or 10, and isn’t super tall. But she is smiling. Her conversations are animated and when she gets up to get an iced tea refill about 6 pairs of eyes follow her every step. So here it is. My guess is this woman didn’t wake up to try and impress her friends, or her boss, or even her significant other. She woke up and decided to dress for herself. She put on something that she feels comfortable in, that fits her body and looks great with who she is. And that’s the key. Don’t dress for her, don’t dress even for him, dress for yourself. Needless to say, I’m pretty sure she might have been the one running late to work today.


xoxo

Carrie