The Art of Dressing Well: From Degas to DSW

It is a rarity when a day goes by and I don’t walk up to a total stranger to compliment them on their clothes, or their hair, or the way they walk their sweet walk. Sometimes you just see someone and feel compelled to give them a bounce in their already rockin’ step. So, how do they do it? What goes into their decisions every morning when they wake up? And, more importantly, how can you be one of those people? It is easy for someone with funds to walk into a store, and ask for the salesman on commission to dress them in “their latest.” I rarely compliment people whose clothes don’t take skill, only a credit card. So how really do you dress well?

The first thing to understand is that dressing well is an equation, not a simple fixed number (or even solution!). You might understand that sky blue looks great with your blond hair, but if you wear it head to toe—or in the form of a jumpsuit—I will laugh. And so should you. But using a sky blue cashmere scarf as your staple with your fitted black pea coat for a winter will make you well dressed walking into anything as long as the threat of snow looms in the clouds—doesn’t matter what you have on underneath. Notice I said cashmere. Yes, cashmere is expensive, but cashmere never goes out of style--nor does it pill, or run, or itch (also goes on major sale after the holidays!). You buy one sky blue cashmere scarf and your blond hair will be thanking you for the next five winters. Which takes me to my next point. Quality. Just because your bank account lacks 0’s (or is in fact a big fat 0)—doesn’t mean you have to shirk on quality. In a previous blog I outlined how to shop at thrift stores. Read it. Embrace it. Do it.

The next act of dressing well comes from the understanding of what you do spend the money on when your bank account has some extra 0’s. Every woman will tell you the first thing they notice about another woman is their handbag. This probably sounds ludicrous, but growing up I literally greeted bags not faces. I can tell a knock-off Coach from a mile away (and which China-Town vendor they got it from). No joke. So can other people. One of the best investments I ever made was a Jackie-O style Gucci bag. I have had it for about 8 years, have reconditioned the leather at least 3 times, and consequently it has paid for itself over and over. BUT—I also got it on sale. Like $150 sale (and for those who don’t speak “Gucci” they retail for about $1200). So here’s the point. When you come across a great handbag that you love, that is made with quality materials, that fits your personality, and whatever budget you’re on at the time (or whatever your credit card can max out at depending on amazing purse-to-deal ratio), don’t think. Just buy. Same goes for classic black dresses that will turn heads at funerals, trench coats where no one cares what’s underneath, and classic pieces of jewelry that will impress any man’s grandmother. BUT—this equation does NOT work with items that you might find in editorial sections of any fashion mag. Even if they are a great deal. You will absolutely not get a return on your investment. And, in the end…you might be “well dressed” for an occasion, but these pieces go out of style and collect not compliments but mothballs when next month’s issue rolls around.

So we have covered everything from understanding use of color, to quality, to what you spend your money on. The last factor to the dressing well equation is the most simple, and by far, the most important. Dressing well is a state of mind. It is the place you go to when, for whatever reason, you make a conscious effort to look and feel your best. Whether it be a job interview, or a big date, or even going to the movies solo—if you pull on jeans that make your thighs sigh, you slip into heels that turn up your lips, and you belt a trench that defines your amazing (whatever size!) waist—you’re putting your best foot forward. You were already well dressed when you woke up in the morning—because you decided to be. There will always be someone who will walk into a store and get outfitted with “the latest”—but their walk pales in comparison to the strut of someone who has not only identified what works for them, what to spend their money on, and—most importantly the confidence that comes with a strategically draped scarf over a fitted pea coat to last the winter’s chill.

Dressing for the Sexes: Do You Dress for Him or Her?

When you wake up—who do you dress for? Your boss? Your friend who you’re doing lunch with? Your husband? The ladies in the meeting you have for the charity coming up? Earlier this week I was able to reconnect with an old friend—an esteemed fashion photographer whose taste I have always trusted (for obvious reasons—check out his website www.fashionwirepress.com). He made a point that completely threw me. He said that the reason why European women are thought of as much better dressers than Americans is because of who they dress for. American women dress for other women. Parisians dress for other men. Hmm. Is this true? When you wake up in the morning do you consciously put together an outfit that would grab attention from your friend, or an outfit that would grab attention from your significant other?

Right now I’m sitting at a Panera. There is a crowd of four women having lunch. Two have Burberry check totes, one has a quilted Kate Spade, and one has a Prada hobo. All have variations of cardigans, button-downs, and straight leg khakis. Two are wearing low heels, two are wearing flats. Jewelry is pretty minimal: diamond studs and wedding rings. I would say all take care of themselves, are “well dressed,” and seem to have some sort of handle on fashion. Next to me there is a blond girl, 20-something and I would venture a guess to say that she might work in the mall...perhaps at Bebe. She has on destroyed (and I mean completely shredded) skinny jeans, very high heels, and a black leather jacket with studs at the sleeves and around the collar that seem to accentuate her (artificial?) bustline. Her hair is down in a blond hot-mess and her black eyeliner is reminiscent of mine…on Halloween. Now, most people would say that it is clear that the women who are most obviously lunching (please excuse my stereotyping) dress for eachother. They most certainly didn’t wake up and think that a button-down and cardigan would make their husband late for work…again (or at least I hope not). I would also venture to guess that the girl next to me might have woken up today and thought that she was going to dress for a man. Tight jeans. Super high heels. Blond hair. Lots of eyeliner. Yet I’m looking around at all the men here and none of them have actually looked her way. Some might have glanced and thought the shredded jeans looked a little ridiculous (as did I), but other than that, nothing. So where are they looking? If the men aren’t checking out the women who obviously didn’t dress for them (the lunching ladies), and aren’t even checking out the one who is stereotypically oozing sex (the Bebe girl)—where are they looking?

Then I see her. Red wavy hair that is loosely pulled back in a low pony-tail, simple green top tucked into a full printed skirt, brown heels, and a great brown bag. I can’t name any of the brands she’s wearing (skirt maybe Ann Taylor 2 years ago…but not sure). She isn’t stick thin, probably an 8 or 10, and isn’t super tall. But she is smiling. Her conversations are animated and when she gets up to get an iced tea refill about 6 pairs of eyes follow her every step. So here it is. My guess is this woman didn’t wake up to try and impress her friends, or her boss, or even her significant other. She woke up and decided to dress for herself. She put on something that she feels comfortable in, that fits her body and looks great with who she is. And that’s the key. Don’t dress for her, don’t dress even for him, dress for yourself. Needless to say, I’m pretty sure she might have been the one running late to work today.


xoxo

Carrie

The Height of the Matter: Why Heels are ALWAYS a Good Idea

Recently I was on the phone with my mom…she is a beautiful 50 something who was lamenting the fact that her feet have finally rebelled—and after 40+ years her days of wearing heels are over. You might find this ridiculous, but I actually sympathized with her and silently begrudged the day that it will happen to me. The only thing I can do is hope that it doesn’t. It will, I’m sure. Women sometimes have differing opinions on heels, some like stilettos, others like wedges, some espadrilles, some kitten heels—but one thing we can ALL agree on: they are always a good idea. Why, you ask? Simple. You wake up…laundry hasn’t been done for weeks, slim pickins on the clean jeans and cute tops. You settle on a long belted cardigan and the cleanest pair of jeans you got. You lace on some Chuck Taylors. Look in the mirror. Hmm. Something isn’t right. You swore your legs were skinnier, your butt perkier, your back straighter. And for some reason the smile just isn’t coming. This is where your eye catches the heels halfway hidden under your bed. Huh. Maybe?…and that’s that. You get rid of the Chuck Taylors and slide into the heels. Yes, in 5 hours your feet may be screaming for escape…but right now, your legs look amazing, your butt is thanking you, and that smile once lost is creeping its way back onto your face. Now you are ready to begin your day.

So, when it comes to heels, what should every woman have? Definitely the classics: a brown pair, a black pair (in leather and suede)—a fancy pair (ie: black satin, something that looks great with cocktail dresses or under long gowns), and a "showstopper." The showstopper is a pair of heels that is so unnecessary that by anyone else’s standard would be wasted money: but this pair is money. It’s the pair you put on and immediately sigh. You love it. It may be crazy, 6 inches tall and strappy—or perhaps it’s just red. But these are the shoes that you strut around in to prepare for a hot night out on the town-whether you are actually going to wear them or not doesn’t matter, it’s the way they make you feel. Ok. So these classics you spend money on. They are made of quality leather and are in timeless styles (except for maybe the showstopper). These go on the credit card. All other heels are for the checking account. These are the ones you get at DSW on sale—the trendier, the less practical: the pairs that match only one outfit in your closet, or the heels you wear stumbling down streets late at night. Remember to take care of the classics--they will pay for themselves over and over--they others may not.

Finally, the matter of height. I am tall.Very tall. I wear heels. Lots and lots of heels. My height doesn’t keep me from heels, never has, never will. This is something that drives me nuts about my taller friends—them not wearing heels. Ladies, a man has a relationship with you, not your height. Remember this. Please. And any man that doesn’t like you for your height, or is intimidated by it…is he really someone you want to be with? A man that doesn’t want you wearing heels, this is grounds for a breakup. Which is fine, because when you’re walking away—you better bet he’ll be checking you out as you leave.

xoxo

Carrie

And to help find the heels:

www.piperlime.com: member of the GAP family of brands, great place to check out lots of different types, styles, colors. Makes sure to check out resident stylist Rachel Zoe’s picks!

www.zappos.com: An obvious choice, the internet’s largest shoe store. Easy to order, and—if it doesn’t work out, easy to return.

www.christianlouboutin.com: Purely for the “showstopper.” Enjoy.