New Year, New Notions.

The other day I watched as a woman (probably a size zero maybe a size two) tried on a double breasted peacoat, size medium. She turned over to look at me...my mouth was at the floor. She was smiling. "How's it look?!" What I wanted to say was, "really?" REALLY? I wanted to tell her that I wear a medium (I am a size 8/10/12 depending on how gutsy i'm feeling that day) and there was no way she and I wore the same size. But then I realized her pants were easily 3 sizes too big, her shirt was nothing but a flood at her hips and wrists, she literally looked as if she was a child wearing her mother's clothes. I couldn't understand it. How does someone walk around in clothes that are so incredibly big? Does she not look in the mirror in the morning and think it odd that even her belt can't keep the jeans on?

So, when she turned to me, smiling, I nodded. I complimented her on the choice of coat, saying that wearing it belted really defined her waist well. I then picked out the XS and suggested that she try it on--just for kicks. She kind of shrugged as if asking "are you sure?" In my head I was screaming "yes, YES!" But I just smiled and gave it to her. Her arms went gently into the coat, she pulled it on, and the shoulders were no longer drooping off the sides. She buttoned it, belted it, and then turned to the mirror. I smiled. Finally you could see the beautiful little figure she keeps hidden under all those clothes. And when she saw herself it was if something had clicked. She saw how it looked, how it felt, and understood.

So whether it's you buy clothes that are too big for you, or too small, or even if you think your derierre can't carry a print, everyone has preconceived notions about clothes: what they can wear, what they can't, and what they do--when they shouldn't. I recently bought my first pair of "skinny" jeans (the trick is...if you're blessed with hips and thighs, get the "straight" leg fit--they'll fit like skinny jeans without the super uncomfortable fit). I now sport leggings (sometimes!) under dresses to make them appropriate for the winter chill. Branch out. If you need to, bring a new friend shopping with you to help open your horizons to different cuts, and different styles. Don't just go by what you read in magazines: adverse to popular opinion, there are more body shapes then just apples, pears, and bananas. And, if you find floods at your hips, wrists, and lots of extra fabric at the thighs, please take off your mother's clothing and walk into a new year, with new notions.

Starting 2010 off right. Saying thanks and smiling.

The presents have all been opened, the thank you notes sent out, and my holiday season retail feet are just now starting to recover (beauty is pain—heels never come without a price). Without being too personal, this year has been in many ways my best, but also, by far my hardest. I ran. I fell. And I picked myself back up. I am where I am because of the people in my life: my friends, my family, my colleagues. Because of you, I have grown. And to this, I say Thank you.

So, to get down to business, yesterday I was sitting with a couple of friends. The conversation (as it almost always does) went from boys, to men, to clothes. When discussing clothes the question was posed of what our favorite outfit was. One friend said it was a dress that she wore when she first started losing weight. She wore it to a bar and for the first time (or so she says) men started to notice her. Another friend mentioned a pantsuit that she had in college. She didn’t know what it was, the light color, or the cut that looked as if it was made for her, but she said that every time she wore it, the world just seemed right. Then it came time for me. I thought for a while, it used to be a Charles-Chang Lima dress that I got at a consignment store on the Upper East. I loved wearing it, I could wear it to work, wear it to church, it even served as my dress for Audrey Hepburn on Halloween. Not anymore.

I have this green dress, the Benny dress from Diane Von Furstenberg’s fall ’08 line to be exact. It sat on the rack at Saks for months. I would visit it. Try it on. Twirl around. Look in my empty wallet and grudgingly put it back. I did this until one fateful day…I was at Nordstrom Rack and saw it on the clearance rack a couple months later. Size 8. It was on sale for $120.00 marked down from $400.00. And so this is how this amazing green dress became mine. It sat in my closet, tags on, unworn for almost a year. It made the trip from Cleveland to Nashville and still just sat. Whenever I had a hard day, or needed a pick me up, I would squeeze my way into it (and I really do mean squeeze)..but every time I looked in the mirror, it was totally worth it. I’m not sure what it is—maybe the emerald green color that goes perfectly with my “red” hair or the way it seems that I have the perfect waist to hip ratio when I wear it, to drop every jaw in the room, but it makes the world right. I know, sounds crazy, but so true.

So in light of the hard year 2009 was for me, I decided to start 2010 off in the only way that felt right. I shrugged off my insecurities and squeezed myself into that green dress. I put on heels that made me 6 1’, tamed my curly hair, and smiled. 2009 Was a year for learning. 2010 is a year for doing.

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I apologize that it seems my blogs are becoming few and far between. This changes now.

The Art of Dressing Well: From Degas to DSW

It is a rarity when a day goes by and I don’t walk up to a total stranger to compliment them on their clothes, or their hair, or the way they walk their sweet walk. Sometimes you just see someone and feel compelled to give them a bounce in their already rockin’ step. So, how do they do it? What goes into their decisions every morning when they wake up? And, more importantly, how can you be one of those people? It is easy for someone with funds to walk into a store, and ask for the salesman on commission to dress them in “their latest.” I rarely compliment people whose clothes don’t take skill, only a credit card. So how really do you dress well?

The first thing to understand is that dressing well is an equation, not a simple fixed number (or even solution!). You might understand that sky blue looks great with your blond hair, but if you wear it head to toe—or in the form of a jumpsuit—I will laugh. And so should you. But using a sky blue cashmere scarf as your staple with your fitted black pea coat for a winter will make you well dressed walking into anything as long as the threat of snow looms in the clouds—doesn’t matter what you have on underneath. Notice I said cashmere. Yes, cashmere is expensive, but cashmere never goes out of style--nor does it pill, or run, or itch (also goes on major sale after the holidays!). You buy one sky blue cashmere scarf and your blond hair will be thanking you for the next five winters. Which takes me to my next point. Quality. Just because your bank account lacks 0’s (or is in fact a big fat 0)—doesn’t mean you have to shirk on quality. In a previous blog I outlined how to shop at thrift stores. Read it. Embrace it. Do it.

The next act of dressing well comes from the understanding of what you do spend the money on when your bank account has some extra 0’s. Every woman will tell you the first thing they notice about another woman is their handbag. This probably sounds ludicrous, but growing up I literally greeted bags not faces. I can tell a knock-off Coach from a mile away (and which China-Town vendor they got it from). No joke. So can other people. One of the best investments I ever made was a Jackie-O style Gucci bag. I have had it for about 8 years, have reconditioned the leather at least 3 times, and consequently it has paid for itself over and over. BUT—I also got it on sale. Like $150 sale (and for those who don’t speak “Gucci” they retail for about $1200). So here’s the point. When you come across a great handbag that you love, that is made with quality materials, that fits your personality, and whatever budget you’re on at the time (or whatever your credit card can max out at depending on amazing purse-to-deal ratio), don’t think. Just buy. Same goes for classic black dresses that will turn heads at funerals, trench coats where no one cares what’s underneath, and classic pieces of jewelry that will impress any man’s grandmother. BUT—this equation does NOT work with items that you might find in editorial sections of any fashion mag. Even if they are a great deal. You will absolutely not get a return on your investment. And, in the end…you might be “well dressed” for an occasion, but these pieces go out of style and collect not compliments but mothballs when next month’s issue rolls around.

So we have covered everything from understanding use of color, to quality, to what you spend your money on. The last factor to the dressing well equation is the most simple, and by far, the most important. Dressing well is a state of mind. It is the place you go to when, for whatever reason, you make a conscious effort to look and feel your best. Whether it be a job interview, or a big date, or even going to the movies solo—if you pull on jeans that make your thighs sigh, you slip into heels that turn up your lips, and you belt a trench that defines your amazing (whatever size!) waist—you’re putting your best foot forward. You were already well dressed when you woke up in the morning—because you decided to be. There will always be someone who will walk into a store and get outfitted with “the latest”—but their walk pales in comparison to the strut of someone who has not only identified what works for them, what to spend their money on, and—most importantly the confidence that comes with a strategically draped scarf over a fitted pea coat to last the winter’s chill.

Dressing for the Sexes: Do You Dress for Him or Her?

When you wake up—who do you dress for? Your boss? Your friend who you’re doing lunch with? Your husband? The ladies in the meeting you have for the charity coming up? Earlier this week I was able to reconnect with an old friend—an esteemed fashion photographer whose taste I have always trusted (for obvious reasons—check out his website www.fashionwirepress.com). He made a point that completely threw me. He said that the reason why European women are thought of as much better dressers than Americans is because of who they dress for. American women dress for other women. Parisians dress for other men. Hmm. Is this true? When you wake up in the morning do you consciously put together an outfit that would grab attention from your friend, or an outfit that would grab attention from your significant other?

Right now I’m sitting at a Panera. There is a crowd of four women having lunch. Two have Burberry check totes, one has a quilted Kate Spade, and one has a Prada hobo. All have variations of cardigans, button-downs, and straight leg khakis. Two are wearing low heels, two are wearing flats. Jewelry is pretty minimal: diamond studs and wedding rings. I would say all take care of themselves, are “well dressed,” and seem to have some sort of handle on fashion. Next to me there is a blond girl, 20-something and I would venture a guess to say that she might work in the mall...perhaps at Bebe. She has on destroyed (and I mean completely shredded) skinny jeans, very high heels, and a black leather jacket with studs at the sleeves and around the collar that seem to accentuate her (artificial?) bustline. Her hair is down in a blond hot-mess and her black eyeliner is reminiscent of mine…on Halloween. Now, most people would say that it is clear that the women who are most obviously lunching (please excuse my stereotyping) dress for eachother. They most certainly didn’t wake up and think that a button-down and cardigan would make their husband late for work…again (or at least I hope not). I would also venture to guess that the girl next to me might have woken up today and thought that she was going to dress for a man. Tight jeans. Super high heels. Blond hair. Lots of eyeliner. Yet I’m looking around at all the men here and none of them have actually looked her way. Some might have glanced and thought the shredded jeans looked a little ridiculous (as did I), but other than that, nothing. So where are they looking? If the men aren’t checking out the women who obviously didn’t dress for them (the lunching ladies), and aren’t even checking out the one who is stereotypically oozing sex (the Bebe girl)—where are they looking?

Then I see her. Red wavy hair that is loosely pulled back in a low pony-tail, simple green top tucked into a full printed skirt, brown heels, and a great brown bag. I can’t name any of the brands she’s wearing (skirt maybe Ann Taylor 2 years ago…but not sure). She isn’t stick thin, probably an 8 or 10, and isn’t super tall. But she is smiling. Her conversations are animated and when she gets up to get an iced tea refill about 6 pairs of eyes follow her every step. So here it is. My guess is this woman didn’t wake up to try and impress her friends, or her boss, or even her significant other. She woke up and decided to dress for herself. She put on something that she feels comfortable in, that fits her body and looks great with who she is. And that’s the key. Don’t dress for her, don’t dress even for him, dress for yourself. Needless to say, I’m pretty sure she might have been the one running late to work today.


xoxo

Carrie

The Height of the Matter: Why Heels are ALWAYS a Good Idea

Recently I was on the phone with my mom…she is a beautiful 50 something who was lamenting the fact that her feet have finally rebelled—and after 40+ years her days of wearing heels are over. You might find this ridiculous, but I actually sympathized with her and silently begrudged the day that it will happen to me. The only thing I can do is hope that it doesn’t. It will, I’m sure. Women sometimes have differing opinions on heels, some like stilettos, others like wedges, some espadrilles, some kitten heels—but one thing we can ALL agree on: they are always a good idea. Why, you ask? Simple. You wake up…laundry hasn’t been done for weeks, slim pickins on the clean jeans and cute tops. You settle on a long belted cardigan and the cleanest pair of jeans you got. You lace on some Chuck Taylors. Look in the mirror. Hmm. Something isn’t right. You swore your legs were skinnier, your butt perkier, your back straighter. And for some reason the smile just isn’t coming. This is where your eye catches the heels halfway hidden under your bed. Huh. Maybe?…and that’s that. You get rid of the Chuck Taylors and slide into the heels. Yes, in 5 hours your feet may be screaming for escape…but right now, your legs look amazing, your butt is thanking you, and that smile once lost is creeping its way back onto your face. Now you are ready to begin your day.

So, when it comes to heels, what should every woman have? Definitely the classics: a brown pair, a black pair (in leather and suede)—a fancy pair (ie: black satin, something that looks great with cocktail dresses or under long gowns), and a "showstopper." The showstopper is a pair of heels that is so unnecessary that by anyone else’s standard would be wasted money: but this pair is money. It’s the pair you put on and immediately sigh. You love it. It may be crazy, 6 inches tall and strappy—or perhaps it’s just red. But these are the shoes that you strut around in to prepare for a hot night out on the town-whether you are actually going to wear them or not doesn’t matter, it’s the way they make you feel. Ok. So these classics you spend money on. They are made of quality leather and are in timeless styles (except for maybe the showstopper). These go on the credit card. All other heels are for the checking account. These are the ones you get at DSW on sale—the trendier, the less practical: the pairs that match only one outfit in your closet, or the heels you wear stumbling down streets late at night. Remember to take care of the classics--they will pay for themselves over and over--they others may not.

Finally, the matter of height. I am tall.Very tall. I wear heels. Lots and lots of heels. My height doesn’t keep me from heels, never has, never will. This is something that drives me nuts about my taller friends—them not wearing heels. Ladies, a man has a relationship with you, not your height. Remember this. Please. And any man that doesn’t like you for your height, or is intimidated by it…is he really someone you want to be with? A man that doesn’t want you wearing heels, this is grounds for a breakup. Which is fine, because when you’re walking away—you better bet he’ll be checking you out as you leave.

xoxo

Carrie

And to help find the heels:

www.piperlime.com: member of the GAP family of brands, great place to check out lots of different types, styles, colors. Makes sure to check out resident stylist Rachel Zoe’s picks!

www.zappos.com: An obvious choice, the internet’s largest shoe store. Easy to order, and—if it doesn’t work out, easy to return.

www.christianlouboutin.com: Purely for the “showstopper.” Enjoy.

What Happens When the Classics aren’t Enough: Salvation Army for a Saved Shopper

Recently I was eating dinner with a friend of mine at a nice restaurant here in Nashville. I was wearing dark skinny jeans, black patent leather pumps (Payless, no joke…sometimes you can get lucky!), and an elaborate black blouse with puff sleeves and ruffles at the neck and down the front…sounds weird, but very cute (and very “in style!”) and also, very much from the Salvation Army. I collected complements on it all night, quietly smiling to myself knowing how much I paid for it and where it came from. So, as an extension from my previous entry: what happens when the Classics aren’t enough? What happens when you’re tired of rocking that amazing green, or shirtdresses paired with jeans, leggings, AND cowboy boots just don’t bring it? Easy: just go shopping. But what happens when your checking account (I would say savings, too…but let’s be honest—that’s been empty for quite a while with this economy) just doesn’t permit a quick run to the mall or even TJ Maxx?

This is when you rip a page from your high school lookbook. Thrift stores. You used them to find just the right vintage t-shirts with the lifeguard money you earned over the summer. They filled rainy summer afternoons with promise of a vintage lacoste polo (or perhaps, just mine). Nevertheless, especially in this economy, thrift stores are your friend. So here are the basics:

1. Location. To find the best thrift store go to the worst neighborhood. I’m not kidding. First of all—people with the best clothes give to those in the most need (not selling to some sort of clothing exchange), but also—the thrift stores in better neighborhoods are also the most visited by people just like you—therefore they are taking what you’re looking for.

2. Time. Going “thrifting” is a process. It will take time. Sometimes you will be victorious, but sometimes you won’t. Don’t get discouraged. If you only have a certain amount of time and you walk into a huge Goodwill—then prioritize. What do you really want? Is it a sequined top that you’ve been seeing in Vogue or Elle? Then walk down the aisles and only thumb through the sparkles. Also—a lot of thrift stores are color coordinated. There is no need to look at those colors that don’t look good on you. So just ignore. There is no point (if you need help knowing what those colors are—that’s what Curly Girl is for !).

3. Company. Please, go alone. Unless you are completely clueless, going alone is the best bet. Different people have different shopping temperaments and nothing is worse than when you are in a complete frenzy with someone who isn’t feeling it and there’s no food court for them to pass the time. You’re given the freedom to take as much or as little time as you’d like.

4. Quality. Make sure what you’re buying is worth it. I know it may be only $5—but, that’s still 2 beers—and a lot if you’re not even going to wear it. Make sure what you’re buying is quality material (try to stay away from 100% polyester or vinyl blends).

5. Spots. Yes, it’s a RL polo—but it’s got spots. Stains. No. It may be a nice brand, it may be well made, it may even be on sale ($1!), but still—NO. You will not be able to get it out. In fact, the reason why it’s probably there is because of that spot. Because someone has already tried to get it out and couldn’t. Move on, there will be more.

6. Trends. Because fashion is so cyclical, thrift stores are a great place to find pieces that you might not otherwise buy full price. Especially now that some of the 80’s trends are back in style—thrift stores are a great place to get some great deals. I am not advocating the 80’s trends in any way, merely just identifying that thrift stores have them.


I could go on and on...I am a big advocate for thrift stores. Just this week I bought a Brooks Brothers critter tie and a pair of Ferragamo flats--for less than $7. Patience is really the name of the game--sometimes you score and score big (I once found a $1200 Loro Piana barn coat for $5)--but other times you come out with nothing but hanger grease and dirty fingernails. For me, the scores make it worth it (the Loro Piana now is on heavy cycle in my fall wardrobe--and will be for years because it's such a classic). So, next time you have a free afternoon--travel Charlotte Ave. Start at Southern Thrift and take it all the way down to Salvation Army, because in this economy, these will save not only you, but your hard earned cash. Just make sure to wash your hands when you leave.


xoxo

Carrie

Classics for a Recession-Proof Wardrobe

So, I have a confession. I haven't actually bought any new clothes in months. And I mean it. Wait, I lie. Last month I went to Goodwill and found a sequined mini-dress (amazing, no lie) that I bought for about 7 bucks. It's sitting in my closet waiting for a "Bad decisions on Broadway" kind of night. Ok, so besides the Goodwill slip-up--I haven't bought anything. Nada. Not even a 10$ on clearance necessity. I just haven't had the money. But, looking at me, you'd have no idea (or I'd like to think you wouldn't). And the reason for this is simple: when I do go shopping I go for the Classics. Now when I say "Classics" I don't necessarily just mean trench coats, crisp white button-downs, and little black dresses. Classics are the go-to clothes that make you feel great. Right now I'm wearing a perfect example. I have on a black pencil skirt and a crew neck cashmere black bracelet length sweater, big pearls (fake), and pony-hair giraffe print pumps with wood heels. These are my classics--not necessarily your classics. I like the pencil skirt because anything that hits at the smallest part of my body (my waist) is my best friend. I like pearls because it gives the impression that I'm innocent (I'm not)--and the shoes I bought last fall at Ann Taylor for $19.99 and I have worn them so many times that I'd almost rather wear these than my running shoes (ok, that's a lie...but almost).

So what does this mean for you? What are your "Classics?" Look through your closet and pick out your favorite pieces. I bet all of them have something in common--whether they're all in the same color family, or all the same material--or maybe they're all the same type of clothes. Take these classics and own them. Wear them. Rock them. Love them. Use the Classics as a base for what you build your wardrobe around--merchandising them up when you can: with great shoes, cheap accessories, or funky scarves. No one will know that you've had them forever, or that they may be finding more gametime as you give your Credit Card(s) a break--they'll be too busy loving the green color with your red hair, or the way your shirt dresses seem to go with everything.


xoxo

Carrie